Jaime Loves Stuff : Have you ever been so ridiculously proud of somebody? *graphic photos*

Have you ever been so ridiculously proud of somebody? *graphic photos*

Photobucket (6 months old, before injury)

Looks like you have to click on the photos if you want to see them, they are too big for the blog :(
I am. See, I never wanted kids. So when I found out I was pregnant with Emma (despite all the precautions I took), I had planned to give her up for adoption. I was spoiled rotten, I was flighty, irresponsible, not the most patient and loved kids, but for a little while (liked to send them home after I spoiled them). However, when I had her, I fell in love with her and made her a promise. If I felt I couldn't handle her at any moment and couldn't find it in myself to give her what she needed, then I would go back to the adoption agency and give her what I physically and emotionally can't. Obviously, we know what happened :) I have to say, I am proud of myself. I fell head over heels in love with this little girl and am impressed with the direction my life went since I had her.

I am just reminiscing about what she has gone through over the last 5 years and am in jaw dropping awe and the resiliency she has endured. At 11 months of age, she suffered a brutal act of child abuse, Shaken Baby Syndrome with Impact, and had part of her skull and brain removed to save her life. She had to undergo several procedures. She suffered serious brain damage and a stroke and nobody knew if she would ever be anything more then a vegetable. She ended up spending a total of 4 weeks in Pediatric Intensive Care and another 4 weeks in neurological rehab, spending most of her days in therapy. She had to have a feeding tube, wear a helmet, leg and arm braces. She had to learn to sit up, eat, use her arms, hands and legs again. Even smiling. She had to learn to smile again. I lived with her in the hospital. Read to her while she was in a coma. Read to her while she was so exhausted from therapy. I like to think that reading to her is part of what saved her :)
Photobucket 3 days after injury and surgery
Photobucket (about 15 days after injury)
I had a hard time accepting what happened to her, I went through a huge state of denial believing the person's story that it was an accident. See, believing it was an accident made it easier to deal with my child. I didn't want to think that somebody really picked up my child, shook her and slammed. However, the truth came around. And the anger and sadness helped me heal which in turn helped Emma.
Photobucket (7 months old, before injury)

Now, that the person has been convicted of Child Abuse and Emma had her skull finally repaired, on July 16th of this year, we have closure. Literally and figuratively. Emma each and every day has shocked me. She is such a smart, loving, incredible, albeit FEISTY child.

What does this have to do with my book blog? You all have sent so many well wishes regarding her surgery and I wanted to share this little bit of us. And she loves books. She is her mother's daughter.




  1. I can hardly type from the tears...you two are amazing beings. I can't say more...too choked up. I do want to add how much I appreciate you sharing this part of you and your daughter.

  2. Wow, your daughter is definitely a resilient little girl! It breaks my heart to know what happened to her when she was a baby but she is amazing for making it through it all as she has. She looks so adorable and happy in all the pictures you post of her!

    I'm glad the abuser was convicted too... it unfortunately doesn't always turn out like that.

    Thanks for this post! I'm glad to hear she's doing well!

  3. Thanks J Kaye and Jenny. She has been through a lot and we have ridden the tidal waves and roller coasters together. We survived, fortunately.

    I try to share our story and hope it saves even one child. Just one will prove Emma's suffering was not in vain.

    Although he was convicted (reckless child abuse), it was bitter sweet. The judge declared it an "accident" (I won't go into details) and gave him only 5 years probation. I think the fact he was a federal agent at the time he hurt her played a huge factor.

    Too many get away with it. You will be guaranteed a one way ticket to prison for drugs, drunk driving, stealing money, etc but if you hurt a child it seems to be fine with the criminal justice system. Not saying those crimes are any less heinous, which they aren't, but just showing a comparison.

    Oh well. She survived and I try to focus on the positive NOT the negative.

  4. I've said this before, and I'll say it again (no, not another lecture) -- you are both incredibly brave, and very special people.

    I am extremely glad she has come through this, and of course the main factor in this is the love and support she has from you.

    I'm sorry I haven't been around lately, but I am back and will keep an eye on you, sending you both positive vibes and hope that all the luck in the world will swing your way, forever more.

    I truly believe what goes round comes round and -- he'll get his comeuppance I'm sure.

    Take care,

    BIG HUGS to you and your little girl.



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