Just whoa.

I feel so out of place and out of my element.  The days seem so surreal.  It's quite funny, really.  I have had a huge amount of changes in my life over the last couple of weeks! I started my new position at the corporate office for the company I have been at for over three years.  I graduated.  Well.  Kind of.  I have one more class to take and I have to scrounge up the cash to pay for it.  All I want to do is SLEEP! I feel like my brain and body want to just catch up on lost time! Haha.

I have huge plans and goals for this summer.  Starting Saturday, I am going to start taking pictures of my items and listing on Etsy.  Just need to install some kind of plug in for my blog.  I am so giddy with excitement.  I am not trying to get rich but my goal is to (in the near future, my hope!) be able to work from home completely.  I love my job but I don't love being tied to it.  My best friend passed away a little over a week ago.  Her funeral is Friday.  I can't go.  I am not entitled to bereavement time because she is not immediate family (although, she was like my sister for the past 25 years of my life).  My father is sick.  His kidneys are not functioning well.  Actually, kidney.  He just has one left.  His cancer returned.  This sucks.  I need to see my father before it's too late.  I am goaling for this fall. My other dear friend is getting married in June.  I hate that I can't go to her wedding.   I am sick of having to stress over child care for my daughter in the summer.  It sucks.  I want to be able to attend events for my daughter's activities at school.  I am an absent parent.  I am not in some form of wonderland.  I know that working from home as a small business will be 24/7 but that still gives me greater flexibility than working 9-530, Monday through Friday.  I have studied enough business and marketing, I know I will be fine. Again, not trying to be some multinational corporation.  I just want to pay my bills and save for my retirement.  I want to be able to employ my child.  I am starting out with jewelry to help fund my next project: bath and body products.  I want to be able to support the non profits that mean so much to me (KEEN, Ballet Academy of Arizona, Never Shake a Baby Arizona, etc.) and create my own support network.

I want to start dating again.  I am finally ready to just enjoy being me and the fact I am a woman.  Ha ha. I don't want anything serious.  Just to date and enjoy life.  I want to travel more.  I want to go to NYC, New Orleans, Boston, San Francisco, Seattle...  I am starting to exercise again.  I'd like to compete in a woman's body building/fitness competition by my 40th birthday.  Yep.  My goals are written.

I hope every mother and single father who is both mom and dad had a GREAT Mother's Day.  I did nothing.  I cleaned out storage closets.  I have taken out so much crap but it doesn't look like I did a single freaking thing.  That's terrible.  Deep cleaning is way overdue. I thought of my mom.  A lot.  I miss her. A lot. She was so beautiful.  RIP Momma

My baby will be 10 in August! Where has the time gone?  July 8th will be the ninth injurversary of when Emma's traumatic brain injury happened.



Oh yeah.  Grumpy cat and cats period make me giggle.

1 comment

  1. You are single handedly one of my biggest HERO'S in life. Your trials and tribulations are so much more involved than most yet, you have a better out look on every aspect of life than most. You deserve all the happiness this universe has to offer and more. I know you will be a success in any and all projects you touch. Just know that in my small corner of the world you have someone cheering you on!!! Your beautiful daughter is so lucky to be able to call you Momma. Light and Love to you!


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