Jaime Loves Stuff : August 2013

Oh Sweet Lorraine. Oh Sweet Fred.

As you know, I've been ill.

I don't know if it's another sinus infection, allergies, a cold or stress.  Don't know, don't care why, I just want my energy, voice and the ability to smell back.  Tonight, I saw a clip about sweet, sweet Fred and his song.  I bawled.  Seriously.  This man's genuine sweetness and love for his wife melted my heart.  So many years together and he wrote an amazing and beautiful tribute to his Sweet Lorraine. Well, Fred, you're my sweet Fred.  You have just won the Internet.  You have stolen all of our hearts and you, sir, you deserve it. He made me think of all the couples who have been together for years and how their hearts ache when their partner passes on.  When my mom passed away in 2006, my father was devastated.  Over 40 years, 9 children, and many struggles together.  When he passed away this past June and I went home, he didn't change anything that was a reminder of my mom.  Nothing.  He missed her dearly.

Of course, I bought the song.  How could I not buy it?  They did a great job and reaction was perfectly wonderful.

Watch the video.  Fall in love.  Then go download from iTunes.  Team Fred!

I'm Sick

I'm sick.

As a dog. Ha.  Ok, no clue why that term is used but I am using it even though it doesn't make much sense.  However, I am sick and I'll return to posting soon.  I need to pick the winner for my giveaway but as soon as I feel better.

Orange is the New Black

I am always late to the party but have you seen "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix???

I am obsessed.  I can't handle waiting for season two.  I just can't! I absolutely adore everybody, even Piper.  I absolutely geeked when I saw Captain Janeway... er, Kate Mulgrew in the series! I am a total Star Trek geek and Kate played as Captain Janeway in Voyager and was amazing.  So, she is Red in Orange.  Ha.  I totally didn't mean that but I am leaving it.  My uber favorite, though, is Suzanne or I fondly prefer her as Crazy Eyes.  I WILL CUT YOU!!!! She's brilliant especially quoting Shakespeare.  I am pretty bummed that Alex won't continue to be a main character but I am stoked for season two and might just need to read the book.  It's a fabulous show.  Seriously.  Netflix killed it with this series.

In the meantime I will finish Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Oh and here's proof that I am a Star Trek nerd.  I drink my caffeine out of my beloved Trek mug.  Don't judge.  Deep down inside, you know you love Trek. :)

Monday Music: Country Edition!

I grew up in Kansas.   A small town in Kansas, not exactly a tiny town but not very big.  I believe that it has a population of maybe 35,000.  Like I said, small.  A big change compared to living in Phoenix! Every summer we have our one big event: Dodge City Days.  It was always a lot of fun with the big rodeo that was kicked off with a major country act, the street dances, the fairs, and so many things.  It is literally the big event of the year.  I do miss downtown Dodge City during Christmas with the shops lit up and opened up with snacks and the small art gallery opened up.  It was nice.  It's nice to visit but to live there again? I don't think so :)

I miss the COOPs and the grain elevators
The scenic overlook gives you a view of the feed lots full of cattle heading to the slaughter houses.  It smells ... wonderful.  Haha

Brick roads :)

Bat Masterson :) Oh and my nail polish? The Wizard of Oz collection.  Appropriate, no?

So back to the music.  I have a lot of fond memories of country music from growing up in the Queen of Cowtowns from the races, going to the bars and dancing (kids could stay until 10 because they served dinner) and at the street dances.

Here are some that make me smile and brings back good memories.  I'm going to leave out the amazing Garth Brooks this post because A. He's featured in Whatcha Gonna Do With a Cowboy and B. I featured him in the 90s Music Post :) Also, I don't think he would mind I skipped him since Chris is getting an awesome feature and they were friends.

 I want to start this off with some great music from a great singer, Chris LeDoux.  I was very fortunate to meet him when he came to Dodge City and was at the Gibson's store signing autographs.  He was such a nice, nice guy.  I no longer have the photos with him but he was so nice to an awkward small town girl.  He signed an extra one for my mother.  The very cool thing about MOST of the country artists when they came to town, they'd get down with the locals :)  RIP Chris LeDoux

Should've Been a Cowboy was written in Dodge City about Dodge City.  Very cool, huh?


Well.  I didn't do any of my normal posts this week.

My daughter went back to school on Monday.  It's been chaotic.  I need to declutter/dehoard my apartment.

I'll be back *Ahhhhnold* soon :)

Delicia Dessert Beverage Review

Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. God.

I am speechless.

I was emailed one day and the subject said "Have Your Cake and Sip It Too!".  My first thought was this must be a foodie book coming out and when I opened the email it's telling me all about Delicia, a brand new alcoholic dessert beverage and if I wanted to try it out and review it.  Naturally, I went to the Delicia website.  Well... hello! Yes, gimme gimme gimme!

Needless to say, ladies and gents- this is a review of an amazing new alcoholic beverage called Delicia.  Delicia comes in four flavors: Whipped, Peaches & Cream, Red Velvet and Strawberries & Cream.  They come in a bottle that is identical to a wine bottle. I was sent a bottle of Peaches & Cream and Whipped.  Holy deliciousness yo! You really, really can have your cake and sip it, too.  We have only tried out the Peaches and Cream so far and hellllllllllloooooooooooooo dessert.  You are delicious.  Will you marry me?

Let me be frank here... this drink is PERFECT for a girl's night out or girl's night in.  These are for the ladies.

I give this a drunken 4 thumbs up.  Yep.  Four. I think I see four but we all know it's really my two opposable thumbs.

If you have this beverage in your area, grab it.  GRAB IT!!!!!

I will upload my photos soon.  My camera battery is dead and I need to locate my charger.

disclaimer: Obviously stated above, this is a review of a product that was sent to me to try out.  :)

Monday Music: I Love the 90s

Last week's post about my being a teenager and turning into an adult in the 90s really inspired this week's music Mondays.

What I really love about the decade is that the music was fabulous across all the genres.

Tell me Friends in Low Places doesn't get you singing ridiculously and embarrassingly loud and I will call you a LIAR!!!

SWV, Xscape and En Vogue were killing it during the 1990s.  The R&B girl bands of the 90s brought vocals that could give you goosebumps.

My anthem?  These songs

Jade- Don't Walk Away

Zhane's Hey Mr. Dj

Xscape's entire album was played over and over until the cassette (I went there...) was eaten by the tape deck!

A guy wanting to swoon a girl? Boyz II Men, Keith Sweat and of course, Jodeci was put on a mixtape.

Don't lie and tell me you don't remember all the lyrics...

Now let's get to the Metal... the hard core metal.

If you don't know these guys, then you better walk on home, boy

Oh I haven't forgotten the alternative/punk/grunge folks.  Oh never.

I had better stop here or this post will be ridiculously long.

Share some songs you love from the 90s!

And.... GO!

Grief and Losing a Child

Losing a loved one is never easy and losing a child at any age or any stage is a tremendous loss.

Sometimes I feel that my life has been an enormous tragedy but thankfully, I have a silver lining and I have a good life.

Many of you know about Emma's story of being shaken, slammed and living with lifelong disabilities because of her traumatic brain injury.  Emma's life has been full of joy, tears, pain and happiness.  She is a lucky one.  If you even want to use the word "lucky" in the same thought as shaken baby syndrome but she is.  Overall, her health is good.  She has many impediments but she is overall a normal, healthy little girl who is full of life and energy and makes me laugh non stop.  Emma has sisters that I rarely talk about.  Emma is not my first child.  As a matter of fact, she is my third child.

In 2000, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl at 32 weeks gestation.  She passed away an hour and a half after being born.  She was 17" long and 4.5 lbs.  I knew she wouldn't live long after her birth so I held her.  I held her as I watched her struggle to breathe and she never opened her eyes.  Alanna was diagnosed when I was 23 weeks pregnant with bilateral fetal polycystic kidney disease.  Due to both kidneys being full of cysts, her kidneys enlarged and she was unable to urinate the amniotic fluid back out thus deceasing causing her lungs and heart to become hypoplastic.  On top of that, my uterus was crushing her because there was not enough fluid to cushion her.  When a baby has both kidneys affected, they can do dialysis until they are old enough and at a weight to be able to get a kidney transplant. However, when on dialysis there won't be much growth so we end up spinning our wheels.  Instead, I opted to let her go naturally.  No rescue attempts.  Just let her be in peace.  I went into labor early and I spent as much time with her until it was time to let her go.  She had a respiratory arrest and died in my arms.  Thirteen years this September and I still grieve for her.  The grief isn't as strong as it was and most days are better than others.  There is no timeline for grief.  You will never stop grieving but the time makes it easier to deal with the loss.

Sadly, not long after Alanna, I became pregnant again.  Entirely too soon.  I was angry and hurt and devastated and all the emotions wrapped up in one.  I waited to get maternity care.  I thought if I ignored the reality, it would go away.  Well? What do you expect from somebody grieving?! I finally went to the doctor when I was 18 weeks along and because of my history, I started ultrasounds immediately.  At 21 weeks, the scans showed that this baby had the same disease infesting the kidneys.  I was asked if I wanted to know the sex. I said no.  Mind you, this is the same perinatologist I saw in my last pregnancy.  Because I was also early enough in my pregnancy- I was given the option to continue on with the pregnancy or to terminate.  I remember the what my first daughter went through and I couldn't go through it again.  I opted to terminate.  Mind you, the termination isn't what you think.  I was admitted to the hospital and I was induced at 23 weeks.  My baby was born and although I didn't want to know her sex during the ultrasound, I found out at birth she was a girl.  Another beautiful baby girl.  I held her tiny body until her heart stopped beating three hours later.  This time, I opted for an autopsy as I needed to know if this was a genetic issue.  Polycystic kidney disease is a genetic disease.  The autopsy revealed that she had fetal diffuse renal multicystic dysplasia.  That is not genetic and it's not common to have two back to back.  I carry a kidney gene that is imperfect (the best word I can think of) and my ex carried a translocated gene (an extra gene that in our case, attached to the gene that causes the kidney disease).  I still think of her often.  I think of both of my girls often.

In 2000, I buried my first daughter.
In 2001, I buried my second daughter.
In 2003, I gave birth to my Emma.
In 2004, I nearly buried Emma.
Now? Although I grieve over all the above losses, I focus on what I have now.

If you have faced a loss, do not put a timeline on your grief.

You never get over it, that's cruel to suggest one should get OVER a loss, but you do get through it.  I promise.  

Phoenix Program for Athletes with Disabilities.

I have posted previously about programs that Emma attends that cater to children with disabilities but I wanted to quickly share with you an article we did for a local Arizona parenting magazine.

Please go to Raising Arizona Kids Magazine to read more!

I'm a 90s Bitch!

Yes.  Yes, I totally went there.
I quoted Icona Pop.  I'm going to be honest here and tell you that I really like "I Love It".  The songs makes me act a fool and of course, the line "You're from the 70s but I'm a 90s bitch!" rocks my socks.  However, the reason it rocks mine is way different than it rocks theirs.  They think the decade they were born in makes them appreciative of the generation... uh, I don't think so.

I loved the 1990s.  See, without fully giving up my exact age, I was born in the late 70s, was a child in the 80s but the 90s was when everything in my life happened.

I became a teenager in the 1990s.
I got drunk in the 1990s.
I went to high school and college in the 1990s.
I fell in love for the first time in the 90s.
I had my heart broken in the 1990s.
I was a free spirit in the 1990s.
I was a  Riot Grrrl and tried to write my own 'Zine.
I saw Drew Barrymore's descent into drugs (I am so glad to see her redemption! I love her!).
R&B was amazing. Jodeci had me feenin' and Silk was all about Freak Me! Aaron Hall, Guy, and Bobbie Brown were at the peak of  R&B.  Girl groups like Xscape, Jade and En Vogue were wowing us with their lyrics and made me feel like they knew me and my situation.
Rap was freaking awesome with Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube and 2 Pac.
Punk, Grunge, and Metal were ace. Phil Anselmo's vocals blew my mind when on Pantera's Cowboys from Hell album.  Metallica had me banging my head.  Green Day, Beck, and The Offspring were all over the radio and we loved them.  Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain were a hot couple.
Country was rocking with Garth Brooks and Tim McGraw.
Mind you, there are many, many, many more musicians I could list but that would make this blog post endless.
I loved flannel, reddish brown lipstick and Doc Martens. I also thought Dickies and Nike Cortez were awesome.  I had big hair, straight hair, light hair and dark hair.
Buffy and Angel.
Saved by the Bell.
Full House.
Fresh Prince of Bell Air.
I was in love with Jordan Catalano and sooo wanted to be Angela Chase in My So-Called Life.
Gleaming the cube.
Skateboards = yum.
I had to get off the internet when somebody needed to use the phone.
Chat rooms were fun! AOL Chat anyone? How about IRC?
I loved having pen pals! Heck.  I still do.

The nineties was an awesome decade because we were an eclectic group of kids who could rock, rap and belt out ballads.

Are you a nineties bitch (or dude...heehee) or what decade do you connect the most with?

Random Wednesday Finds: Pinterest Edition

My Random Wednesday Finds are usually found all over the web from Etsy to shopping sites and many others. Today's Wednesday Finds are from my various pins that I just loooove!

I love quotes from The Buddha and this one is so true.  It has a lot to do with how I was able to forgive the unforgivable (story here).  This one definitely resonates with me and is how I am able to let go of the anger that held me in a deep prison within myself.   Thanks Pinterest for this lovely find!

I love kitschy kind of kitchen art (whoa, hello alliteration!) and this is no exception!  Seriously.  How fab is that? You can even get it as a pillow.  Yep.  I love it!

Found here

I loooove pillows.  I'm so glad I reign in my pillow buying because I'd be a hoarder but at least a cool eclectic one!

Bloggers! How cute is this? I mean... come on, this is seriously bad ass.  I am in loooooooove.  

Found here

One of the things I love about Pinterest are the outfits that are put together via Polyvore.  Sure I'd love to buy the entire outfit (I so would if I could!) but it gives one ideas on how to style an outfit and colors that look amazing together!  However, ModCloth is the business.  Seriously.  I want EVERYTHING on their site.  Most days.  This outfit? I want.  No. Scratch that, I NEED this outfit.  All of it.  I didn't make this board, I copy and pasted the code.  It's amazing.  

Blue Crushin' Tee

Your turn! What did YOU find? 

Monday Music: Regina Spektor and John Mayer

Happy Monday!

Wait.  Is that rude? Ha. Mondays can be good or bad- depending on how you want to handle it.  I almost didn't post my music post.  I am in a bit of a funk.  My daughter's 10th birthday is Wednesday and I am flat broke.  Like... so broke, I'm in the negative but it's all good.  I can't do anything about it, so no use getting worked up, right? As long as we have food in our mouths, clothing, a roof, etc.- it's all good.  However, I can't help but feel sad because this is a big birthday.  She's never really had a big birthday party- always something small with just family and no swimming in presents, so it's not like she's spoiled.  Le sigh... It just happened to be that my car plates and insurance premium are due this month.  Ok... enough of my pity pot whining.

I am on a John Mayer and Regina Spektor kick.  I think Regina's been on my mind alot thanks to Netflix's absolutely amazing series, Orange is the New Black.  Have you watched it yet? You must, if you have not! It's amazing.  I am in love with it and need season two to start! Good job, Netflix!

I don't judge John Mayer on his very public personal life.  It's his life to live and I am not going to judge him for his choices.  My life isn't without skeletons and I've had mine judged because as we all know, it's easy to judge when you are looking from the outside...

So, here are some songs I absolutely adore.  His voice is amazing.  His lyrics move me.

Regina... Regina.  The woman is a lyrical and piano madwoman.  She speaks to me in ways... well, just listen to her.  Her voice.  Her music.  She's amazing.  'Nuf Said.

Eet.  This song is what consumed me and brought me to the world of Regina:

Sunday Social

Sunday Social is a weekly meme brought to you by Ashley Lately

1. What are 3 items you can't live without on a daily basis (water, food, shelter, and clothes don't count):

Since this particularly stated ITEMS, my daughter is a given but... my phone, my books and my computer :) 

2. What is your all time favorite book? Why?

Oooh.  Hard call! I am such a book nerd.  How about top three? Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.  I love her snarkiness and Mr. Darcy.  No need to say more.  Game of Thrones by George RR Martin.  Murder. Anarchy. Betrayal.  Fight for a throne.  Pure awesomeness.  Lastly, I think Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins.  It's like an acid trip in a book mixed up with pure genius!

3. What is something you'd like to accomplish before the end of 2013?

I am on a spending diet so my goal is to pay off most of my credit card debt by the end of the year.  I won't say ALL because I am setting myself up for failure.  

4. If you could go back and relive any year of your life which year would it be?

None.  All the years, good and bad, have shaped where I am now.  

5. What do you wish people knew about you without you having to tell them? 

How my daughter acquired her brain injury because when I have to retell it, I relive it. 

Le Sigh... My Baby Is Turning Ten!


A seriously heavy sigh.  Why am I sighing? My daughter will be TEN next week.  This is a big deal!

It means I'm ten years older.  Seriously.  Where has the last ten years gone? (Yes, that's my narcissism making it point number one! Haha).

Nine years ago, when she suffered her horrific brain injury, I never thought that I'd see the things I see come from her!

One of my New Year's goals was to get her potty trained and more active and BAM! Goals achieved! Whoo hoo!

This summer has been extremely pivotal for the both of us; her behavior has been amazing.  I think her self esteem has gone up.  I am so proud of her.  I try to keep her active and making new friends and she is! I am so proud of her! Her social skills are improving! She saw her Plastic Surgeon, Dr. Singh, this week and she didn't scream when she was feeling her head (to make sure her cranioplasty was still stable!).  She behaved very maturely!

I feel bad because I can't really afford to do much for her birthday for her this year (and this is a BIG birthday!) but we will do something special together and plan something in a few months.  Keepin' it frugal, yo!

Sigh... again... where has ten years gone?

Us when she was six months old

Three days after being shaken and slammed
Four years old before she had her cranioplasty

This year! At nine years old doing adaptive ballet

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