Last week was a very hard week for me. I was extremely depressed and felt like a dark cloud was hanging over my head (You can read all about my angst riiiigggghhhhttt here). I had a ton of good news and exciting opportunities coming my way and I was still in a terrible funk. Then I looked at the calendar and the date hit me. It was September 19th. September 18th was my firstborn's date of birth and passing. Every year, I become overwhelmed with a deep sadness and it takes me a bit to realize exactly WHY I am feeling that way. It happens three times a year- September 18, April 3 (my second daughter's date of birth and death) and July 8th (Emma's injurversary). I have been extremely fortunate to overcome all the adversities that have been stacked against me and the opportunities I have been given. Many of the adversities I have faced, I will not put on my blog but just know that it's been an extremely difficult road to travel and many haven't achieved as much as I have. That's not to be self aggrandizing but just being factual. I haven't achieved a lot but I have achieved quite a bit (to me!). I have started a Personal Happiness Project.
My Personal Happiness Project is to remind me of the little things that make me smile. Some days, we forget there are so many little things that bring us joy as we end up focusing on the negative. Every where we turn, it's negativity. The news. Social Media. Coworkers. Everybody is complaining about something but nobody wants to do anything about it. I am guilty of it, too and am trying to have a paradigm shift of my world view.
Here are the things that have brought happiness to me:
Emma struggles in the writing area but she doesn't struggle with articulating! She dictated this essay about her mom :) Made me smile so big!!
A bowl of white chicken chili.
Ate it while watching a marathon of "The Wire".
The recipe is over here. Yep. It's on my new blog!